Student narrative well done

Lisa recommended Joseph’s haunting narrative from several weeks back.

By Joseph Van Nattress
Gateway
The clock creeps toward 10:45, as a dark shadow captures the east point of Alyssa’s room. A light knock on Alyssa’s door whispers to her ear, the sound smoothly seeps out the window. Her mother patiently waits for a minute as she wipes her eyes and continues to bed. Alyssa sits alone at the back of her bed frame with her hair draped over her left eye. Her eye connected to a picture, a picture of her brother and friends, Graham, Stephanie, and Anthony.
Her clothes scratch her skin as they slowly drip to the carpet. She reaches to grab her gray towel, almost tripping on the pile of threads below her. Teeth chattering, her newly pierced lip ring begins to shake. Each blink bone shattering as she glances at her broken room. The towel drops as she mopes back into her bed to sleep. She feels cold without her brother cold and alone.
The sun rises and Alyssa’s father belts it’s time to wake up. The dinner table appears slanted and unbalanced without Graham. Alyssa dreads going to school but her father helps boost her spirits. She hears the light melody of the door thumping and knows that Stephanie is here to bring her to school. She kisses her dad on the cheek and heads out the door. Stephanie squeezes Alyssa passionately before they get in the car. Both of them begin to tear up. Stephanie tells Alyssa that her brother Anthony wasn’t going to school, it was too much for him to handle.
Anthony lies alone in his bed. On June 6th it felt as though his life was over. It was the middle of baseball season, his favorite time of year. Less than 24 hours ago all he could think about was the play offs. He and Graham were on the same team, they did everything together. This is why it made it so hard. Graham lead the league in home runs and was also a star in track and field. On Friday after practice Anthony and Greg decided to have some fun and cool off with their sisters. Their friend had a pool at his apartment but it was past hours so they were cautious sneaking in. Graham hoped the fence and let the others in. The girls strip to their bathing suits and frantically skip to the hot tub. Graham stands timid, and shaking while looking down at the black motionless water. Anthony laughs to him self as he sneaks up behind and pushes. Graham laughs as he bobs up and down in the water. Anthony jumps in after him and swims over to talk to his sister and Alyssa. He hops out to join them in the hot tube. Alyssa frantically begins to look around the pool. She questions Anthony and everything becomes silent. They glance over at the pool, only to see water. Without a word Anthony dives into the water. Alyssa puts her hands over her mouth and begins to sway. Stephanie screams as Anthony throws Graham’s limp body onto the concrete.
Black ties, black dresses, black shirts and black shoes surround a red rose as it floats silently to the ground. Puddles surround the tombstone like the moat to a castle. Tear drops sizzle on the dirt as they continuously meet. Individuals in the crowd sweat profusely ignoring the thought of water. A sense of awkwardness and fear overcome the individuals in the audience. Each heartbeat another second of life, or in Graham’s case, another second lost.