Earlier this week I was walking through the middle of campus with a scowl on my face. Not an I’m-in-a-bad-mood scowl, but a zoned-out/mind-is-elsewhere glare off into the distance. In fact, my eyes must have been cast downward because, in my peripheral vision, I see a man jogging toward me. He was clearly on a mission to get somewhere. As he approached, probably 10 feet from me, I looked up suddenly and made eye contact.
“Great hair!” he said with a big grin. I didn’t even have time to respond, but smiled quickly in acknowledgement of the compliment.
In that moment it struck me that as that man jogged toward me, I likely did not look very welcoming or approachable. And that moment was identical to millions of moments in my life. Except, now I have purple hair. So that man, the woman at the bank, the hygienist at the dentist’s office, the fellow concert-goer, my barista at Starbucks… interact with me and seem to remember me much differently than when I had plain brown hair. There’s a distinct lack of anonymity.
So, sure, purple hair is an obvious flashpoint/conversation starter/set-yourself-apart kind of thing. But truly, it’s not for everyone. So how can you set yourself apart in your day-to-day life? I’m not talking about in a physical sense… let’s use purple hair as a metaphor, shall we?
Be approachable – Be conscientious of your body language, facial expressions and demeanor. No, you shouldn’t care what everyone thinks about you, that’s not the point. But if you non-verbal says, “I’m approachable,” you may be surprised at who you’ll meet or what conversations you might strike up.
Take interest in people – Be genuine, though. Don’t be obnoxious (there’s a certain coffee stand chain in Oregon that rhymes with Hutch Druthers that has the most obnoxious baristas who want to chatter non-stop and ask way too many questions about what you’re doing… don’t do that).
Smile & make eye-contact – I get stopped on the street (literally) and complimented on my purple noggin. No, I’m not always in the mood to smile and say “thank you.” But I do it anyway. People take a risk when they talk to a stranger – even if it’s to pay a compliment. The least you can do is show respect by acknowledging with a genuine response. Or if you’re the one taking a risk, then do so with a smile and eye contact. You’ll find both are usually reciprocated. And if they aren’t, it’s probably not about you.
People don’t always remember what you said, but they always remember how you made them feel.
Don’t take yourself too seriously – I have purple hair for crying out loud. Have fun, and the rest will follow.
I’d love to hear what you think.
Comments
13 responses to “Smile More: And Other Life Lessons Purple Hair has Taught Me”
Thinking that color and emotion are powerful tools of influence and I’m really curious about the kinds of responses different colors would illicit. Willing to try green and orange and extend the experiment?
Make that elicit. Don’t want you to have to break any laws. 🙂
Just two weeks ago I decided to smile at everyone I passed in WallMart just to see what kid of reaction I would get. 90% of the people smiled back and each time I smiled even more at the next person cause people couldn’t help but smile at me. It was fun!
A great analogy. We too often take ourselves way too seriously. Stepping out there and making a statement, and then being open to the response, is a great way to remind us all of our humanity and our zest for life. Life’s too short not to have purple hair.
Sherisa: Yes, thanks for clarifying. I wonder, too. I think I’ll leave green and orange off the list… I’m a “winter” afterall. 🙂
Bev: It really is remarkable! I agree. I’m making all kind of new friends.
Pitter: Thanks! It really has been fun.
Thanks for this inspiring post, Kelli!
I totally agree that “People don’t always remember what you said, but they always remember how you made them feel.” It’s amazing how much we can communicate with our body language and overall persona. As PR people (especially in the classroom), I think we spend a lot of time focusing on our spoken and written communication and forget about what our visual is portraying.
Thanks for dying your hair purple; it’s nice to know a professional can still have fun. 🙂
Thanks, Lindsey! Fun is definitely a necessity. 🙂
[…] I would like to reference a blog post from fellow Duck on PRos in Training, which hits on the subject of the person behind the career.; the who you are apart from the what […]
Oh my gosh! This is awesome. I’m going to really enjoy reading these posts and being able to relate to them because I have pink and purple hair. I recently went to an internship interview and wasn’t sure if I would be judged as some scrappy young girl with pink and purple hair so I tied all my hair back and clipped up my bangs. What’s your opinion of young professionals with crazy hair colors and piercings? Should we wait until we’re established and have a job/internship to start messing around with our hair colors and appearance?
Linda, as with most things in PR, the answer is “it depends.” It depends on the company to which you’re applying, depends on the kind of work that company does, etc. You have to know your audience and be able to gauge whether funky hair and piercings are appropriate. For example, I used to have my nose pierced and took it out when I was applying for a corporate job that I knew wouldn’t allow me to have a piercing. But my professional life allows me to be a bit more “funky” these days. 🙂 If you have a specific scenario that you want to chat about, I’m always happy to do so.
[…] Posted by Kelli Matthews in Just For Fun | 7 comments […]
Kelli,
I really identify with this blog post. I find that every year of my college experience has made me more approachable, interested, outgoing and daring. I have learned a lot about myself in the past three years and these qualities are spot-on with the lessons I’ve encountered. I love that you wrote about this because it is not only important on a personal level, but a professional level as well. I feel like these are the traits that make a PR pro better at what they do. Thanks for sharing your experience! I never thought about these things collectively, but you said it beautifully!
Best,
Dalal
…makes me miss my blue hair. It really does make you stand out, and make others’ day.